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Miscellaneous. September 13, 2006

Posted by J.P. in Houseism.
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“Like I always say, there’s no ‘I’ in TEAM. There’s a ‘me’ though, if you jumble it up”

“There is not a thin line between love and hate! There is in fact a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every twenty feet between love and hate. “

Dr. Cameron: Who (thinks he’s sick)?
House: His wife.
Dr. Cameron: The woman you used to live with.
House: That’s her Indian name. On her driver’s license it’s “Stacy.”

Dr. Cuddy: I want to run something by you.
House: I will not have sex with you! Not again! It was miserable the first time – your desperate administrative need!

Dr. Cameron: Foreman! Are you going to contribute, or are you too tired from stealing cars? (everyone stares) I’m being House. It’s funny.
Dr. Foreman: I know. You made milk come out my nose.

Cameron: Men should grow up.
House: And dogs should stop licking themselves, but it isn’t gonna happen.

“Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat later, I’m Doctor Gregory House; you can call me “Greg.” I’m one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning. This ray of sunshine is Doctor Lisa Cuddy. Doctor Cuddy runs this whole hospital, so unfortunately she’s much too busy to deal with you. I am a board certified diagnostician with a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology. I am also the only doctor currently employed at this hospital who is forced to be here against his will. That is true, isn’t it? But not to worry, because for most of you, this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you’re particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this: this is Vicodin. It’s mine! You can’t have any! And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem… but who knows? Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m too stoned to tell. So, who wants me? “

“Who the man? I the man! .. I always suspected …”

House: So, we’ve got pride, anger, envy, gluttony….That’s four out of seven deadly sins in two minutes. Do you people keep records of these things? Is there a Cathlympics?
Eucharist: They say you have a gift.
House: They like to talk.
Eucharist: You hide behind your intelligence.
House: Yeah, that’s pretty stupid.
Eucharist: And you make jokes because you’re afraid to take anything seriously. Because if you take things seriously, they matter, and if they matter –
House: And when things go wrong, I get hurt. I’m not tough, I’m vulnerable.
Eucharist: I barely know you, and I don’t know if I’m right. I just hope I am. Because the alternative is, you really are as miserable as you seem to be. [pause]
House: You know, from the way you’re looking at me right now, I’d say you just hit number five: lust.

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